Finding Technicolour Read online

  Mum checked the saucepans filled with food, gave each one a quick stir then joined us at the table. “So, Kai, how’ve you been? Has it been busy at the coffee shop?”

  “I’ve been good … Living life. Forcing myself to enjoy this winter.” He looked at me and smiled.

  Did he remember winter was my favourite season?

  “Work’s been good. Nothing too exciting … Although the other day this woman found a random coin from Canada in her bag and took it as a sign that her ex-lover wants her back. The lover’s Canadian. She told me she was going to book a flight and leave in the next couple of days. She could be on her way right now. It’s a shame we’ll probably never know how that turns out.”

  I smiled. Using his imagination and elaborating on the simplest of things until he could do it no more, was the way Kai saw the world. He seemed to always see the best in people.

  “Now that is a shame,” Mum said. “We’re just going to have to predict what happened in the end. Did she book a flight? Did she get on the plane?”

  “Did her ex want to see her?” Kai said.

  “Does the ex she told you about even exist?” I said.

  “If they did meet, has her ex moved on already?” Mum said.

  “Is the love they once shared strong enough for a second try?” Kai said.

  “Oh, good one.” Mum said.

  I smirked at the two of them. They were both enjoying themselves. I leant back and listened. I was never that good at making up stories from the top of my head anyway.

  “I think we should go with she booked the flight and met her lover. They were both filled with emotion because of their break-up and the sweet memories of their past relationship, and the fact she flew thousands of miles for the speck of a chance that they could be together again, that they started dating again,” Kai said.

  “Yeah … They took a chance. Things weren’t perfect. They had their rough patches. But they stayed together.” Mum smiled. “I like a happy end.”

  My heart struck with a little pain. I felt bad that my mum didn’t have the happily ever after she wanted. The happily ever after she deserved.

  “So Kai, what are your intentions with dating my daughter?”

  Kai smiled. I knew he knew my mum asked through a jokey tone, but he answered honestly. “Certain aspects of our future relationship are unclear, as they should be I think. But my intentions are to treat her the best I can. I want her to fall in love with me, head over heels, and be so captivated and consumed by me and our love, that in her mind, nobody else is good enough apart from me. I intend to do this in the healthiest way possible.”

  Mum looked impressed and slightly shocked. But I couldn’t read the other expression on her face. “And how are you going to feel about her?” Her tone was different now. Serious.

  Kai answered like he had prepared for it his whole life. “As I think you already know, Emma, I’m intrigued by your daughter. Everything about her I want to know. I want to understand. I’m falling in love with her, but I don’t think she knows that. Maybe she will now that I’ve said it out loud. I’m already captivated by what we share and how much I feel for her. And I’m waiting patiently for the love, she might in time, give me. I already know no one else will match, compare or reach her standards, or perfection if you will. Together I want us to just, be.”

  “Wow … He’s a keeper.” Mum removed herself from the table and checked on the food.

  Kai and I remained seated. I didn’t know what I should have said back to him. He was so brave about the way he felt about me and the way he wanted me to feel about him, the way he saw our relationship growing. I’d never even really thought about it. A part of me wanted to leap from my chair and kiss him passionately. Tell him I wanted all of that too. Tell him that being with him made me happy. Made me feel hope. Made me feel stronger. The other part of me wanted to run and hide, because now I was even more afraid that I wouldn’t be enough.

  The doorbell rang.

  “Who’s that? Are we expecting something?”

  “Can you get that P, while I finish dishing dinner out?”

  When I answered the door, I felt lighter.

  “Liam!”

  “What’s going on, P?”

  “What are you …” I couldn’t believe he was there. “What are you doing here?”

  Liam stepped inside and closed the door. I wrapped my arms around him. His clothes were cold. We squeezed each other tight. He lifted me off the floor. His arms locked around my core and I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t care. As he placed me back on the ground, I felt my ear-to-ear smile.

  “Mum and I planned a surprise dinner for you tomorrow night. Then she told me that your boyfriend was coming tonight. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet him, so I came down a night earlier. Where is the lucky lad?”

  Liam was a confident person. A “party starter” Mum liked to call him. He marched straight up to Kai and stuck out his hand. “Hey. I’m Liam, Peyton’s brother.”

  Kai stood and shook Liam’s hand. “I’m Kai. She’s told me a bit about you. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “You too.”

  I saw Liam inspecting him. He made it obvious enough.

  “So you’re the coffee-shop kid?” Liam said.

  “Is that the title I’ve been given?” Kai looked to Mum and me.

  “In earlier conversations,” Mum said. “But you’re more than that now.” She smiled warmly.

  The four of us spent hours chatting. Kai seemed to fit in just right, as if there was a perfect space for him to squeeze into. He happily and quite easily followed our banter and wasn’t shy to chime in with his own remarks. I was given the nod of approval from Liam when Kai wasn’t looking, and I already knew Mum liked him.

  Later that night, when Kai was going home, he left me with a kiss on my cheek then kissed my knuckles like he had at the end of our third date.

  A sparkling force lingered around the house. I scanned the room and could see how it all connected. The glow from the moon thrust though the window, grazing the glass on the photo frames and sending a thin line of light to the lamps. The bulbs’ brightness spread across the room like the early-morning sunrise, making Mum’s earrings sparkle almost as much as her eyes. Her laughter glimmered to Liam. Seeing them smile warmed my insides. That moment was a light I wanted to soak in. Bask in.

  I was glad Liam had come, and for once I was even happy that he and Mum had kept it a surprise. Having the three of us under one roof felt right. It reminded me of the many morning moments we used to share before we went our separate ways for the day.

  Liam and I helped Mum with the dishes. After a little while we went to bed. I rested under my warm blankets. I smiled and breathed the deepest breath I’d breathed since returning home from hospital. I took a moment and relished the blissful light.

  Chapter TWENTY-FIVE

  My phone beeped loudly and startled me awake. My eyes searched for my alarm clock – it was six in the morning. I half-heartedly rummaged for my phone on the bedside table. Through half-opened eyes, I read the text.

  Kai: Good morning! Thanks for dinner last night. Your family is exceptional!

  Me: Morning. I’m glad u enjoyed yourself … Is everything OK?

  Kai: Why wouldn’t it be?

  Me: We’re messaging at 6 am.

  Kai: Did I wake you?

  I began typing my response.

  My phone beeped.

  Kai: Be honest.

  I erased my unfinished text.

  Me: Y.

  Kai: Sorry.

  Me: It’s fine. Is there anything else on ur mind other than ur appreciation for last night’s Swift family festivities?

  Kai: Well I was wondering if you’re free Friday night?

  Me: For what?

  Kai: Another date. I’ve got a good idea.

  Kai: Scratch that. A great idea. Something fun I promise!

  Me: What is it?

  Kai: Can’t say unless u agree to the date. OX />
  Me: Fine. I agree to the date. What is it?

  Kai: Actually can u let me keep it a surprise until Friday? I’ll tell u the plan before we leave.

  Me: Why can’t u tell me now?

  Kai: I want to keep u in suspense.

  Me: That’s not necessary.

  Kai: But it makes life fun.

  Me: I guess I’ll see u Friday then.

  Kai: Can’t wait! OXOX

  Later that day Mum, Liam and I went out for dinner. My heart felt whole when the three of us were together. I felt home. I felt better than OK.

  We arrived at the small restaurant for an early meal. The space was congested with tables but was fairly empty of patrons. Two elderly couples sat together for a double date and a large family with young children huddled around a long table for what looked like a birthday party. The ceiling lights beamed upon the shiny silver chairs place around rectangular tables. Cutlery already arranged and salt and pepper shakers sat in the centre of the tables, alongside napkin holders. We were shown to our table. A four-seater by the window. The view was of the dampened chewing-gum stained street and several cars parked down the road. A light in a shop across from us began to flicker. It made me wonder what Kai would think and the meaning he would find behind it. Maybe it was Morse code, a message to a secret society or a loved one.

  “So Liam, how are the studies going? Are you still enjoying the course?” Mum said.

  “It’s all going great, Mum. Fine and dandy.”

  “Oh no. What’s happened?”

  “What?”

  “Sweetheart, I’ve known you for your entire life and your definitions of fine and dandy are not what’s written in the dictionary. Now tell me what’s happened.”

  Liam looked at me. His bright eyes were bulging with worry and his relentless attempt to hold in his laughter. I stared back at him, our eyes conversing. Without a word he was pleading with me to have his back. Change the subject. Avert the attention. I knew Liam and I had been staring at each for too long when Mum started questioning me.

  “Peyton? Do you know something?”

  “Uh …”

  “You see …” Liam began.

  I stupidly butted in. “Liam told me about this party …” Regret splurged as the words left my mouth, realising he probably had this whole speech prepared. But I wanted to try and help him. I was never good at making stories up on the spot, but when Liam was there helping out, I always seemed to manage. “And these students played a crazy prank.”

  “At your school?”

  “No Mum.” Liam said. “It was at this other school.”

  “Yeah this other school, someplace else and it happened years ago.” I waved my hands around. “He read about it online.”

  “OK. So why are you acting weird about a prank some kids did years ago at a different school?”

  “I’m not acting weird.”

  Mum eyed him.

  I could tell Liam was close to admitting the truth. I could see the words on the tip of his tongue.

  “Well Mum …” He swallowed them away. “There was talk at my school that some members of the student body were considering remastering the prank. When I heard what was happening I told my friends I didn’t want to be involved. I put my foot down, Mum. I said I wouldn’t do it. I didn’t want to. It was too dangerous. The consequences would’ve been too severe. Expulsion if we – they – got caught.”

  I scrambled through memories, stories and words, just to try and divert the attention from him. He could usually keep a secret but when Mum gave him that stern, knowing look, it was like he was eight years old again – when he confessed to eating the entire chocolate cake and smothering some chocolate on my face so I could take some of the fall. I was panicking and spoke about the first thing that came to mind. “I’ve been working on new art.” My heart sank. I really didn’t want this to be a topic I discussed with Mum and Liam. Up till now I would always tell them about my art or the new artist I was obsessed with that month. And I loved sharing it with them, because they were so supportive. Countless times the three of us had researched the closest art exhibition and spent the day there. Liam pretended to be the world’s snobbiest and loudest art critic, and it got to a point where Mum and I would have to go to the exhibits in secret.

  Their sights set on me, Mum suspiciously glanced at Liam, with a smirk on her face. I knew she knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth. Secretly, I was happy he hadn’t told her. Not that I liked it when we lied to her, more the fact that I knew he was able to keep something from her. It made me feel better about hiding my dark side from her. It made me feel all right to be keeping my secret from her too.

  Friday arrived quicker than expected. As I got ready for our date, I thought back on my week. Nothing was different. I had spent my usual hour with Dr Wilson. He had tried to get me to dig a little deeper, to speak of the darkness I held. But I didn’t. He had showed me another drawing he’d created, which I liked. I liked that he wanted to show me his art. That he was doing something that he liked and seemed genuinely happy to share it with me. As per request, he also showed me photographs of the graffiti-type artwork he had made for his friends’ skateboards when he was younger. It was actually really good.

  As the days passed I had still kept my thoughts at bay. Kept my memories in the shadows. During the last few nights I’d only woken up in a rush of sweat once. My nightmares seemed to be fading, allowing me to rest in peace. But it did make me wonder if they were gradually creeping to the forefront of my mind, ready to attack me – with no respite – during the light of day. Ready to hit me when I wasn’t expecting it.

  The doorbell rang. Liam answered it.

  I was in the bathroom but heard every word they said.

  “Hey Kai, come in. You all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. How about you?”

  “I’m great. You wanna come and sit down?”

  I quietly opened the bathroom door. It squeaked a little. I tiptoed down the hall and leant my back against the wall, my ear close to the doorframe.

  “You want a drink of anything?” Liam said.

  “Ah, no. I’m fine thanks.”

  “So what are you and Peyton up to tonight?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “You’re not going to tell me where you’re taking my sister?”

  “I …”

  “You’re not off to a good start, kid.”

  Liam seemed a little harsher than usual. Maybe he was being overly protective because of my crash. I could just picture him staring squarely at Kai. That same look he uses when he asks a question once and waits until he gets the answer he wants.

  “Well I was thinking of taking her to the arcade to play a couple of games and go bowling.”

  I kind of felt guilty for listening in on their conversation, but was relieved to know where Kai and I were off to. I had built-up tension caught within me. I know Kai and I had been alone together, but some days were easier than others. Hearing the simple word “arcade” made that worried feeling go away. I silently started preparing myself for the date. The people. The sounds. The colours.

  “The arcade huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well don’t let her play air hockey. She always cheats at that.”

  I did not. I played fair and square. Liam just hated losing to his little sister.

  Kai chuckled. “Any other advice?”

  My insides clenched. Liam had always been protective of me. Sometimes it made my stomach turn. Sometimes he made it so embarrassing – even if it was in a jokey tone – but it proved that he cared. That he loved me.

  “Don’t be an idiot. And look after her.”

  “I will. I mean, I won’t be an idiot. I will look after her.”

  I snickered quietly. Kai was nervous.

  “Good. ’Cause if you hurt her I won’t think twice to … ”

  “Hi.” I stepped into the lounge. Although I loved Liam’s protectiveness, I didn’t want Kai to feel dishea
rtened, especially now that he was my boyfriend. And knowing the destination of our date, I thought we would have fun. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

  “That’s OK.” Kai smiled but I saw the nervousness in his eyes.

  “So what have you guys been talking about?”

  “Football,” Liam said.

  “Oh. Kai I didn’t know you enjoyed football.”

  “Yeah, I do … I mean, I’m not the biggest fan. My stepdad loves it though. We’ve been to a few games together. It’s good fun. And I’ve been thinking recently to get into it more, you know …”

  “Well Liam’s a huge fan of every sport under the sun. Other than duck shooting. I’m sure he’d be able to teach you a few things.”

  “Yeah.” Kai nodded.

  I couldn’t help but smile. “Are you ready to go then?”

  “Yep.”

  I walked over to my brother and looked him in the eyes. “Bye Liam.”

  He smiled and gave me a cheeky wink before he sprang from the sofa and squeezed me tight. “See you later. Have fun.”

  “See you later, Liam.” Kai raised his hand slightly in an attempted wave.

  We made our way to the front door. I quickly slipped my shoes on.

  “Be good, you two!”

  Kai and I stepped outside. I forced a breath out which became fog. “So, you haven’t told me where we’re off to yet.”

  “Right. Yeah. Um, I thought that maybe we could go to the arcade. Are you up for bowling?”

  “Sounds like fun.”

  The music from the large arcade games, bowling balls striking the pins and the laughter of customers filled my ears. The noise variations allowed me to focus on a number of things. Kept my mind busy. Distracted. I stood to the side as Kai made his way to the counter and bought a bunch of tokens. He strode back to me, his full colours reigniting.